The Lord's Grace

Christian Humor

The Players
26 Jan 2000

Quarterback Sneak:  Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play:  What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time:  The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer:  Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion:  Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket:  What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning:  The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over
and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay:  The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death:  What happens to the attention span of the congregation if
the preacher goes "overtime".

Trap:  You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run:  Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense:  The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon
to affect your life.

Halfback Option:  The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for
the evening service.

Blitz:  The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

Author unknown

Prayers needed Now!
For our Troops every where.

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