The Lord's Grace

Christian Humor

Tuna Sandwich
26 Jan 2000

     Seymour Schwartz was a good, deeply religious man.  When he passed away, God greeted him at the Pearly Gates.  "Hungry, Seymour?"  saith God.

     "I could eat,"  Seymour replied.

     So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of fresh rye bread and they shared it.  While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and fine wines.  Curious, but deeply trusting, Seymour was quiet.

     The next day God again invited Seymour to join him for a meal.  Again, it was tuna and rye bread.  Once again looking down, Seymour could see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates.  Still Seymour said nothing.

     The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened.  Seymour could contain himself no longer.  Meekly, he said,  "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led.  But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings!  Forgive me, O God, but I just don't understand..."

     God sighed,  "Let's be honest, Seymour -- for just two people does it pay to cook?"