The Lord's Grace

Christian Humor

In Honor Of Supid People
6 May 2004

     In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

* On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
* On a Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
* On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
* On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
* On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
* On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
* On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
* On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
* On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?
* On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
* On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
* On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
* On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
* On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

     Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and share this with someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...in other words share it with everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while!