The Lord's Grace

Christian Humor

Your Pizza Order 2004
6 May 2004

     Is this truly where we're headed, think about it?

     Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
     Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
     Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
     Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."
     Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
     Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
     Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
     Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
     Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
     Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
     Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
     Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
     Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
     Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
     Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
     Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
     Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."
     Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
     Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
     Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."
     Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
     Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"
     Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
     Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?"
     Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.
     Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
     Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
     Customer: (Speechless)
     Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
     Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
     Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

     "Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance."

Author Unknown

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