The Lord's Grace

Christian Humor

Life's Reflections
10 Mar 2002

 1.  Never raise your hands to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.
 2.  I'm not into working out.  My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
 3.  I'm in shape.  Round is a shape.
 4.  I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
 5.  Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
 6.  I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
 7.  Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window?
 8.  Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
 9.  I have six locks on my door, all in a row.  When I go out, I lock every other one.  I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
10.  One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.  Think of two of your best friends.  If they are OK, then it must be you.
11.  They show you how detergents take out bloodstains.  I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
12.  Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals.  I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
13.  A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said,  "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?"
     I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses.  Now I'll have to kill you too."
14.  Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Author Unknown

Prayers needed Now!
For our Troops every where.

Language Translater Link

How to Know Jesus ChristEternal LifeSpirital GrowthHomepage | StoriesPoemsPrayersChristmasEasterSalvationFaithMiraclesLord's WorkPrioritiesHumorWords of WisdomPictures-SlideshowMy AmericaGospel HoaxesNews Comments

The feather graphics are furnished by:

This web site hosted and developed by
Red Oak Tree  
Copyright © 1999-2015 by Red Oak Tree